I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Panties = found
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
