I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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