RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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