I never want to see another naked old woman again.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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