no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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