How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
we're chasing vodka with high fives
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
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