Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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