I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
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