Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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