You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
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