hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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