yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Randomize
