i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
3pm strippers are depressing
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Randomize
