elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
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