I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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