I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Randomize
