Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
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