uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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