I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
