To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
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