wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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