he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
