Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Randomize
