You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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