Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
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