Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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