i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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