So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Randomize
