Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
