Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
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