Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
