doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
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