I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
