He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Randomize
