we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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