once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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