Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
