I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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