what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I wish they made helmets for livers.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
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