she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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