I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
And then my night got REAL pukey
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Randomize
