wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Randomize
