oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
worst night to have a conscience
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
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