i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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