So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
