the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
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