Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Randomize
