yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
