You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
