i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
