Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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