It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Randomize
