okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
i wish my penis had a tongue
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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